Are married women the property of their husbands?

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Sometime last year (2012), a man in Entumbane suburb in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe caught his wife in bed with another man. In anger he forced the couple to walk in the street naked. And walk they did, to loud jeers from the crowd that quickly gathered.

                Reading the article, I asked myself if it was perhaps within this man’s rights to humiliate the cheating couple in the manner he did. Surely not; he was not supposed to have humiliated her in this way. When people get married, to what extent do they lose self and become part of the other person? African men have been known to react violently whenever they catch their wives with another man or when they hear talk of their wives cheating on them. Too many women have been beaten up by their husbands because of the way they interact with other men: It can be a smile, conversation…

            A few ago in the suburb of Nketa 7 in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, a 36 year old married woman got stuck to a 16 year old boy she was having an affair with. Allegations are that the two were separated the following day when the woman’s husband returned from his trip. The man is alleged to have 'unlocked a padlock' and the two were mysteriously set loose. They were reportedly given a hiding and thereafter the woman was sent packing. Many might argue that the woman deserved what she got – let he who has not sinned cast the first stone. But that’s another issue altogether: What I have problems with is not the woman’s morality, but how adults treat each other. The woman in question is planning to sue her husband, "What I did was wrong but for him to go to that extent is a violation of my rights. I believe I would have a strong case against him," said the woman who believed her rights were violated.

Why do African men behave as if they own their wives? If a man believes his wife is cheating on him, why not just divorce her instead of resorting to barbaric behaviors like Lunyoka/Runyoka, assaulting the woman or/and her boyfriend. Where does the sense of ownership African have come from?

            It is important to note that African men whilst being the most possessive when it comes to their wives and girlfriends are also the biggest culprits when it comes to cheating on their wives. Does a woman become the possession of her husband upon getting married? Is the idea of being so and so’s wife enough for African women that they have to give up all else and be reduced to the status of children? Is the marriage contract ever discussed before people get into a marriage?

            I am of the opinion that whilst marriage is supposed to be binding and the contract supposed to last forever, this is not always possible. Marriage is a contract between two adults who are totally different and were raised to totally different sets of value systems. Marriage is at best a wait-and-see thing. It might work or it might not. A few months into the union you might realize that you and your chosen partner are not compatible. It is very possible that your partner will discover that you can hardly give him/her what he/she expects from a marriage.

            This nonsense of married people behaving as if they own each other is very nonsensical and people should outgrow this illusion that they can own another person: The days of slavery are long gone and it should be realized that an adult, in a marriage or out of it is still an individual and will not always behave according to the ‘rules’ of the other person.