Good men get less sex?

According to the article Egalitarianism, Housework, and Sexual Frequency in Marriage authored by Sabino Kornrich,Julie Brines and Katrina Leupp, men who help out in the home get less sex.

            "Our findings suggest the importance of socialized gender roles for sexual frequency in heterosexual marriage," said lead author Sabino Kornrich, of the Center for Advanced Studies at the Juan March Institute in Madrid.

            "Couples in which men participate more in housework typically done by women report having sex less frequently. Similarly, couples in which men participate more in traditionally masculine tasks -- such as yard work, paying bills, and auto maintenance -- report higher sexual frequency."

I am sure the people who did  the research used a ‘scientific method’ of some sort, but I think the assertion that  men who help out with housework get less sex is utter rubbish and my reasons for dismissing the research with the contempt it deserves are as follows:

·         Most of the research data was supplied by the men who were subjects of the research and one thing I know about men in general is that they lie. The so-called ‘manly’ men are even worse at lying about their conquests and achievements. A man who does not do what are regarded as womanly chores regards himself superior not only to women but to other men: So when asked how much action he is getting, such a man exaggerates upwards. It is said that a woman who has slept with nine men will say she has slept with three, but a man who has slept with three women will say he has slept with nine.

·         The research does not talk of the quality of the sex: Are the brutes that refuse to help out their obviously overburdened women perhaps demanding sex? Are we perhaps misleading ourselves by just talking of more sex and not investigating the possibility that much of the touted ‘more sex’ refers to rough episodes that leave the women feeling used and violated?

·         Women’s sexuality is directly linked to their emotionality. To women, sex is an act of love and a woman wants to have sex with a man she loves and when she feels good about herself. In the modern world we live in, where there are no manly chores for men to do, one of the ways of showing a woman that you care about her is to help out with the household chores. I wonder which part of the jungle the research that came to the conclusion that men who help with housework get less sex was done. The reality of the modern world is that if you help out your woman she will know you care and that becomes part of the foreplay process and when you get to the bedroom – fireworks!

·         If a man helps out with housework, the couple becomes closer on many levels and this opens up communication channels, including communication about sexual matters. There is something about the traditional gender roles that does not liberate women and this leads a frigid sex life and reality on the ground is actually the opposite of what the article Egalitarianism, Housework, and Sexual Frequency in Marriage says.

I can dare say men who help their women with housework or with the chores that are traditionally the preserve of women get more sex and the plus to that is that it’s actually quality sex. It is tempting to just focus on frequency of sex, but looking at both the frequency and the quality of the sex makes more sense. The biggest issue when it comes to sex is that women generally don’t achieve orgasm and this can be attributed to the fact that most men don’t take their time when having sex. But the major contributor to lack of female orgasm is that women will not be mentally ready for sex when the sexual act happens. Men should therefore make sure that women’s minds are at ease when the time to have sex comes. One way of achieving this is by helping out with the housework. So, I disagree with the assertion that men who help with house get less sex: The opposite is true.