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Friday, 23 November 2012

Confessions of a cheating husband



For years I had been telling people that I initially was not interested in a romantic relationship with Nomathemba Dube; a sweet, extremely beautiful young woman who now runs a highly successful catering company. I had always believed that all I wanted with Nomathemba was to help her realise her dreams. I maintained this line of thinking until Moses asked me a simple question:
“If it had been a young man, would you have shown such interest in his dreams?”

I wouldn’t have. Actually, I had been approached by several young men with brilliant business proposals prior to meeting Nomathemba. I ran a successful retail business and I was a magnet for young people who needed help with all sorts of business ideas. I realise now that it was Nomathemba’s beauty that initially attracted me to her. Reminded me of a young woman called Carol who once looked me in the eye and said:

“Relationships between men and women can only be sexual, nothing more and nothing less.”

Or something to that effect. My relationship with Nomathemba over the years has been civil and we have been jointly raising our son in relative peace. For all intends and purposes she has been my second wife and she has done excellently in that regard. She has also been an integral part of my retail business.
I met Nomathemba five years ago at Kelvin North industrial site in the high density suburb of Iminyela in Bulawayo, the second largest city in Zimbabwe. It’s a thriving industrial site. With the depletion of the more formalised industry, everything has moved to the more informalised industrial sites. And the best craftspeople, journeymen et cetera are found there. They make a lot of money and they don’t pay tax. I was referred to Kelvin North industrial site by Moses when my car’s headlights just died on me.
I was on my way home around six and I was listening to one of those clever Oliver Mtukudzi songs that get you thinking:

Hope hadzina ndima
hadzina ndima
Ukagudugudza wasaririra
Apa basa mangwanani
mangwanani
Ukagudugudza wasaririra
Aiwa basa mangwanani
mangwanani
Ukagudugudza wasaririra
...
Hatina nguva yatinofunga kuti tinayo
hayo tinayo
Hatina nguva yatinofunga kuti tinayo
hayo tinayo
hayo tinayo...

I hit a speed hump at high speed and my headlights just switched off and I could not switch them back on again. I had been assured by the car salesman that kind of thing would not happen. But then, a salesperson can assure you of anything. A salesperson can even assure you that his brand of ice will not melt if that will get you to buy. I drove home at a very slow speed and my wife’s cooking made me totally forget about the malfunctioning headlamps of my expensive car. It could have been her skimpy dress as she served the food or perhaps the very sweaty business between the silky sheets she had bought on-line.

I remember a year later my wife sobbing when she discovered that Nomathemba was pregnant with my child.

“Did I do something wrong. Tell me what I did wrong, I will fix it.”

She was scared I was going to leave her for Nomathemba. But honestly, I had not been involved with Nomathemba because there was anything wrong with my wife. She was more beautiful than Nomathemba. And in spite of being a lawyer, she was respectful and did an amazing job of running the house.

“You did nothing wrong, I love you and always will.”

“Then why?”

“It just happened.”

It sounded lame, but that was the whole truth. My wife stopped taking birth control pills that very night and our daughter was two months younger than Nomathemba’s.

Moses pointed me in the direction of Kelvin North industrial site to have my headlights fixed. I took the afternoon off to go to Kelvin North industrial site. I was to see a guy called Trevor: It was said he was the best auto-electrics guy around. There was a long queue at his makeshift garage and I jumped the queue by virtue of having deeper pockets.

As I drove in I had noticed the reserved young woman who had a coca-cola cart in front of her and did not pay much attention to her. I bought fried amacimbi from a woman a few meters away from Trevor’s garage as Trevor attended to my car and inevitably I had to buy a coke from the young woman I had seen earlier. I sat on an empty drinks crate and chatted to her as I gulped my beverage. She had on a plain, blue dress and a woollen hat on her heard and looking at her, I got the distinct impression that she was carrying a heavy burden on her youthful shoulders. I realised later that she was not struggling to the extent I had thought she was struggling. She didn't look at me as she narrated her vision. It didn't seem as if she was talking to me at all.

“You know, I want to own a one stop functions company. You know; tent, catering, wedding dresses et cetera. But well, I guess success is for the rich as I don’t have any hopes of ever raising the required capital.”

I gave her my business card and told her to get in touch with me. I might be able to help, I told her. She brought a business plan to my office the next day. My heart hammered heavily against my rib cage when she walked into my office. She had transformed into a goddess. With the woollen hat gone and with the addition of make-up and a short red dress, I couldn't recognise the plain, young woman I had seen the previous day.
She explained her business plan in great detail and explained her cash flow and her loan repayment plan. We went out to lunch and I assured her that I would finance her business. All she had to do was put the practicalities of the whole thing into motion. I financed her business and she never repaid the ‘loan’.

We kissed a month later and had sex three months after that. I had driven her to a wedding venue in Hillside and as we sat in the car chatting outside her parent’s house, one thing led to the other and we had sex on the back seat of my car. I was surprised to realise that she was a virgin and afterwards she clung to me and giggled nervously.

“My mom is going to kill me”, she whispered nervously.

She moved out of her parents’ house six months later and we developed a full blown relationship that led to her pregnancy about a year after I had first seen Nomathemba at Kelvin North industrial site.
Now we sit in the park and Leroy, our son is running around the park. He seems to be chasing something that he only can see. Nomathemba takes my hand and looks me in the eye.

“Thank you”, she whispers.

“What for?”

“You have given me a good life”.

I glance at my watch and she gets the cue. It’s time for me to go home to my wife.



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