Are humans meant to be monogamous?

Someone once said that humans are not monogamous by nature: That human beings, by nature do not mate for life like, say, doves. The high percentage of human beings who cheat on their partners makes this school of thought almost believable. But then, unlike doves, humans are burdened with what is known as freewill: God, because he is a just and fair God decided to put the fate of human beings in the hands of human beings.

                Doves never have the urge to change partners; God fixed it so. The majority of living things only have sexual intercourse for reproductive purposes and the sexual urge is seasonal. Human beings on the other hand will perpetually have a strong urge to try out other human beings and the sexual urge is always there. The burden of freewill: It’s up to individuals to decide what is good for them. Therein lies the problem. Humans have proven over the centuries that they do not know what is good for them and have on too many occasions battled to clean up the mess of their choices and without much success.

                The premise of the theory that humans are not meant to be monogamous is not wrong though. The problem is its application to the modern world; the world as we live it is now. Human beings have animal instincts when it comes to violence and sex: It’s plain and simple; get sexually aroused and have sexual intercourse. The male human being is designed to be visually stimulated by the female human body and that has not changed since creation. Men get an erection from looking at various parts of the female body and the exact part varies from man to man: An exposed thigh (or a hidden thigh), breasts (exposed or not – the mind conjures up the rest), sensuous lips, eyes (thus the reference to ‘bedroom eyes), a smile...the list is endless.

                And women play along to this ancient animal instinct – how else can you explain the miniskirts, the long dresses that have got slits that go all the way to the crotch, dresses that have got the entire back removed, seductive looks, half exposed boobs...the list is long. All this give men an erection and when men get an erection they want to have sexual intercourse. So whether consciously or subconsciously most women seduce men and the result is sexual intercourse. But it seems it’s not that simple for women. So I guess the theory that human beings by nature are not meant to be monogamous is supported by basic biological and psychological facts. Men get sexually aroused by different women on a daily basis and women set out to sexually arouse men on a daily basis(the jury is still out as to how many women are actually aware of this fact and are willing to face the consequences). One night stands are the most common outcome of this daily occurrence of seduction.

                How then do we fit this basic animal sexual instinct that is inherent in human beings to modern day society? We can’t. If people have sex (heterosexual people that is) the most likely result is pregnancy and children need to be taken care of. Human offspring is dependent upon the parent for more than a decade and the two creators of the said offspring have to stay together at least for that long or at the very least provide the resources that  will take care of the said offspring. So whilst we are getting sexually aroused and sexually arousing each other on a daily basis, we can’t afford to give in to this very natural instinct to fuck a different person every single day. Being able suppress our primitive animal instincts is what I call civilisation.

                But looking at the high demand for abortion services and the high rate of HIV infection it seems we are not as civilised as we think we are. We are responding to the urge to sexually arouse each at an alarming rate and therefore killing ourselves and others at an equally alarming rate. The next time you think you are civilised, think of how well you manage to suppress your basic animal instincts like sex and violence.