If I were to have another woman besides my wife – the so called ‘small house’- would it be because of something my wife has done or not done? The honest answer is no. But the supposed shortcomings of the wife or girlfriend number one helps with the conscience and in a few cases accelerates the process: What could have happened in five years might happen in two. She drove me to it is an easy finger to hide behind and will be used until - forever. Honestly the only valid reason for leaving the wife or girlfriend number one is infidelity; even the holy book says so.
So if it’s not the wife or girlfriend number one’s weaknesses and they are varied: Lack of respect, ubutshapha, she has gained some weight and so on – why do men stray from the nest? We might look under every rock, debate until sunup, look in all the psychiatrist’s drawers and even consult an inyanga or two. But we will not find the answer to why men tend to drift towards polygamy; all 95% of them. Maybe society has let men get away with it for too long? Or maybe it is in the men’s genetic makeup to want to ‘posses more than one women? It has to be pointed out that women also stray from the nest – about 20% of them.
It also has to be noted that there are people who will cheat on their partners no matter how good they have it: about 50% of men and 10% of women. But the focus of this article – if you can call it that – is the men who cheat. And since the lofty standards set by men for them not to cheat are not attainable, it is safe to say that all men cheat – well, to give myself a bit of immunity, I will say 95% of men cheat and most with a clear conscience. Why? The small house will kneel before me when serving me my food, the small house will run the bath for me and scrub my back…I will not ask the wife or girlfriend number one to kneel before me and even if I did, she would laugh at me and anyway it wouldn’t feel as good if she is doing it because I asked her to. So the answer is polygamy!
Moslems openly embrace polygamy and before the white men came and ‘civilised’ the African man; polygamy was an acceptable practice. Now polygamy is going on at a much larger scale than before the white men came and it is being done the white man’s way: Have a mistress hidden away somewhere or even a second wife that no one knows about. I once heard of a police officer who had two wives who got three days a week from him each and as far as both wives were concerned, Daddy was on ‘night duty’ for half the week and that worked for the guy for more than a decade.
The fact that men always stray from the nest in any part of the world is something that we will never have an answer for and the fact that some men will leave their highly educated and sophisticated wives alone in a big mansion and go and stay in a ramshackle shack with a small house who barely went past grade three is even a bigger mystery. But I have heard small houses know how to treat a man like a king. But then, if man was treated like a king by his wife or girlfriend number one, would he not stray from the nest?
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