Today I woke up to sad news -
another friend choosing to take the divorce route. I asked for compelling
reasons and she said, he never delivered the "fairy tale" life I was
meant to have. I asked like what? She answered, "Do you know that during
our married life, he never bought me flowers, not even a single bunch!"
Really, I responded, totally surprised at how delusional my friend is.
Many friends of mine are in "fairy tale" relationships but a few do not see nor appreciate it because of their "delusions of grandeur" (DOG). A couple or so have divorced because of this.
If my own husband were to buy me flowers, I would be very suspicious. He has never done that. I do not expect him to. I love flowers, especially proteas and he knows it but I have no expectation of receiving flowers from him because he gives me many other different flowers every day when we are together. Instead, I chose to be a keen gardener so wherever I am living, I have beautiful gardens so I get to wake up to beautiful flowers in my gardens everyday single day.
When my Mom is ill and I am away in the world pursuing my dreams, my husband is the first one to get there and ensures that she has the medicals and medications she needs. It warms my heart because that is a flower he would have given me. When he chooses to wake up next to me every day, a commitment he made when we married, those are flowers to me. Many men I know who buy flowers for their partners are not choosing to wake up next to them nowadays. Robert will be up at 6am to juice some fruit for me in the juicer and then bring it to bed with my blood pressure medication ensuring that I am taking the medication, which is a flower to me. A flower more precious than the ones that start dying the moment they are plucked from their habitat.
My friend continues, "I like travelling to Joburg at least twice a quarter for shopping and chilling out. He does not want to take me always moaning of budgetary constraints." Really, I respond again. But you can do it by yourself. If he does not want to come to Joburg because he has no money, why are you not using your own money to do the things that make you happy? There is silence on the other side of the phone. Then, "you do not understand my friend, you just do not get it do you?" Please help me understand, I respond and on and on the DOG mentality continues.
Peeps, stop looking next door. The grass always seems greener there, but oft times, it is greener because of the rotting muck underneath. Yours might not look that green, it is okay. But, why are you not delighting on the succulents and cycads in your garden which the neighbour does not have? After all, they are more sustainable as they are water wise.
I rest my case.
Many friends of mine are in "fairy tale" relationships but a few do not see nor appreciate it because of their "delusions of grandeur" (DOG). A couple or so have divorced because of this.
If my own husband were to buy me flowers, I would be very suspicious. He has never done that. I do not expect him to. I love flowers, especially proteas and he knows it but I have no expectation of receiving flowers from him because he gives me many other different flowers every day when we are together. Instead, I chose to be a keen gardener so wherever I am living, I have beautiful gardens so I get to wake up to beautiful flowers in my gardens everyday single day.
When my Mom is ill and I am away in the world pursuing my dreams, my husband is the first one to get there and ensures that she has the medicals and medications she needs. It warms my heart because that is a flower he would have given me. When he chooses to wake up next to me every day, a commitment he made when we married, those are flowers to me. Many men I know who buy flowers for their partners are not choosing to wake up next to them nowadays. Robert will be up at 6am to juice some fruit for me in the juicer and then bring it to bed with my blood pressure medication ensuring that I am taking the medication, which is a flower to me. A flower more precious than the ones that start dying the moment they are plucked from their habitat.
My friend continues, "I like travelling to Joburg at least twice a quarter for shopping and chilling out. He does not want to take me always moaning of budgetary constraints." Really, I respond again. But you can do it by yourself. If he does not want to come to Joburg because he has no money, why are you not using your own money to do the things that make you happy? There is silence on the other side of the phone. Then, "you do not understand my friend, you just do not get it do you?" Please help me understand, I respond and on and on the DOG mentality continues.
Peeps, stop looking next door. The grass always seems greener there, but oft times, it is greener because of the rotting muck underneath. Yours might not look that green, it is okay. But, why are you not delighting on the succulents and cycads in your garden which the neighbour does not have? After all, they are more sustainable as they are water wise.
I rest my case.
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