Pages

Monday, 15 July 2013

I Know Four Men Who Are Sleeping With My Wife






By 'The bitter husband'

I feel useless as I walk down the road to my one roomed house in Highfields Harare as I admire every Jack and Jill driving these so called Ex-Japs. As I draw closer to the entrance, the thought of me knowing that my wife is going out with four men and I can’t do anything about it drives me crazy.
It all started after the end of the money burning era when I used to live like the Mayor of Harare while every soul, great and small seemed to salute my shadow and kiss my feet. We were the people who knew where one could get mealie-meal and where the next fuel coupon could be obtained and sold.
Here I am so wretched and useless. My only daughter who used to welcome me home with a deafening scream has since ceased to recognize me as a dad and worse for the mother who never stops yelling at me even in front of my friends and relatives.

Men#1: My landlord

Two months ago my landlord threatened me with an eviction order after I had failed to pay my rental for two consecutive months but I got suspicious when a week later my wife came with good news of the landlord having scrapped the arrears and slashed the rental by half and even asked our daughter to join his two daughters in their bedrooms. Consequently, my wife got a job at one of the landlord’s fast food outlets and she now comes from work at midnight and I am no longer allowed any conjugal rights as she is always tired.

Men #2: Victor the old friend from her rural home.

We have been in Harare since our marriage and our daughter is now seven and surprisingly this Guy I have known for years now was only last week introduced to me as a “hommie” (one who comes from the same rural home as her). The ordeal struck me in that from the day these formal introductions were made, Victor has started replenishing our refrigerator with the goodies and he is now a regular at my place and it has become common that my wife and victor watch television together until late. It was on this stupid day while I was at Takashinga Cricket club for a few beers with Victor that the bartender spilled the beans resulting in me becoming aware of the issue that Victor had shares and interests in my wife.

Men#3: The caring workmate

Mai Saru often knocks off from work late and fortunately there is a bachelor by the name Brian who at first seemed like an angel to the family. He would collect both Saru and my wife in the morning and after dropping Saru at the Pre-School would continue to work as he is my wife’s work mate and stays along the close. It was one day when I had escorted my uncle and was coming from the other side when I noticed Brian’s vehicle parked by the corner side without any people inside. I just continued with my journey and just after finishing the close corner, I was shocked to find my wife twisted around Brian, I stood still as breathing profusely but alas I cannot do anything about it since I cannot be able to replace the food on the table if I open my mouth about Brian.

Men#4: The understanding Bishop Noah

With all the time now at my disposal and life slowly getting back to normal in our home I decided to seek spiritual remedy from the man of cloth Bishop Noah. Their ministry was said to be the trending revelations for man in bondage and as for me my wife wars proved to be chains that I felt needed a pastor to break them through miraculous interventions. One day I decided to invite our Bishop the weekend I knew Mai Saru would be at home relaxing. I wanted this pastor to pray for the miracle love light to shine in our home. Only my wife was invited to a series of special all night prayers. One day I just thought let me visit the church building and to my surprise no one was at church and my wife’s phone was on voice mail. It started to dawn on me that the bishop had taken the only remaining shares I was left with.
Now here I am married only on paper with all my monthly bills  being settled by my landlord, my beer drinking sprees maintained by Victor our hommie, my revived appetites for exotic foods well handled by Brian and lastly all our spiritual issues prayed for by Bishop Noah.

No comments:

Post a Comment

ShareThis