Is treating women like queens compatible with feminism?

Model - Ellen Mahlangu

I recently queried the compatibility of treating a woman like a queen and feminism. A friend remarked that the question might be an oxymoron: It is assumed that by fighting for equality, women should give up their advantages: This is a vindictive approach that poisons the whole struggle for emancipation of women. In a misguided show of bravado, feminists pretend as if they don’t care if a man doesn't compliment them on how they look. They pretend as if they don’t care if men go out of their way to spoil them.

            There are certain advantages women enjoy for no other reason but the fact that they are women. Does feminism strip women of being pampered; being treated like queens? I don’t think so. We have to carefully examine the question - Is treating women like queens compatible with feminism? There are two crucial, fixed facts about men and women that make it extremely important to question the concept of feminism in relation to the treating of women with kid gloves: Not in everything, but in matters of romance.

            The first one is that men’s attraction to women is visual; men react to and in the majority of cases are sexually aroused by what they see in women: Sexy legs, boobs, sexy eyes...This is a primitive instinct to procreate. Women on the other hand are attracted to strong men (using the broadest definition of strong). Women are also attracted to men who can offer stability or potential of stability. This is also a primitive instinct to procreate: A strong man is more likely to protect and provide for his family. I know that my layout of what attracts men to women and what attracts women to men leaves out a lot people, but the number of people who are covered by my layout is large enough for the purposes of my thesis.

            Why am I bringing up the primitive instinct to procreate in my attempt to answer the question – Is treating women like queens compatible with feminism? The instinctive desire of women to be sexy and the instinctive reaction of men towards this is not going away and we might as well deal with it. The idea of feminism being a fight for equality between men and women is a bit misleading in a big way; equality is not achievable. I rather prefer the definition of feminism that talks of gender fairness or gender justice. The talk of equality leads to the mentioning of stupid statements like, ‘Are those calling for equality going to give women balls and penises?’ I have heard a lot of men say, ‘Can a woman impregnate another woman?’ Stupid, yes, but it should be blamed on the ambiguous nature of the concept of equality. Let’s talk of gender fairness instead.

            Because of the fact women will always have an instinctive desire to be sexy and men will always react to this visually stimuli, men and women will always relate to each other in a way that makes it essential for men to treat women with a certain level of delicacy.

            We have established that men are attracted to and sexually aroused by the sexiness of women because of a primitive instinct to procreate. But modern day society does not really require a dozen children per couple. So what do we do with all the sexiness we are bombarded with every minute? A good start would be to have sexual intercourse at leisure, since we are not in a hurry to have babies and hopefully this will result in more women enjoying the rare occurrence called orgasm. And as for the instinctive attraction of women to strong men, there are no marauding lions or invading tribes to protect the women or children from, what are men supposed to do with all the extra ‘manly’ energy? Since men insist that they are physically superior to women, they should make sure that their women are not very tired at the end of the day by helping out with the household chores. It is this point that men object to vehemently, but it is part and parcel of treating your woman like a queen.

            The other fundamental difference between men and women is that women invest emotionally when it comes to romantic relationships. Whilst there are a lot of women who are claiming that they can handle one-night-stands just as well as men, we cannot run away from the fact that men and women are wired differently. So as much as women can compete with men when it comes to becoming CEOs and flying fighter jets, we can’t throw away the buying of flowers, romantic dinners, remembering anniversaries...in the name of equality.

            If men and women interpret feminism as absolute equality between the sexes, then after the ‘equality’ has been achieved, we will have a world full of women who are clutching emancipation in one hand and boxes of antidepressants in the other. The feminist cause is so fragmented because a lot of women don’t see themselves turning away from the very essence of womanhood; being appreciated for being sexy and being able to be emotional without restraint. These two things are buried deep in the genetic make-up of women and they are not going anywhere. Its high time both men and women realise that feminism that seeks to destroy the essence of womanhood will fail one way or the other. A woman can be allowed to be the best she can be and still be treated like a queen. So to the question – Is treating women like queens compatible with feminism? We should answer yes. The kind of feminism that recognises and respects the essence of womanhood is the best kind.