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Two
weeks ago (that is mid January 2013) I was reading the advice column of a local
weekly newspaper. One woman had written in with an interesting problem – maybe interesting
is not the right word to use here; a problem can’t be interesting, can it?
She is married and one day her husband asked
her to give him a Blow Job and she gave it to him. Since that day, all that has
been happening in the bedroom is one-sided oral sex and they haven’t had
vaginal sex in a long time. The columnist did not address the obvious
underlying psychology of the situation: The man is using oral sex as a slavery tool.
On a physical level, oral sex cannot and
will never be better than vaginal sex (I say vaginal sex fully aware that there
are people who have anal sex, but I have never experienced it and I will
therefore leave it out of my thesis). On a psychological level, however, oral
sex can be way better than vaginal sex in the sense that deep (in some people
not so deep) within us there is a sadistic being that takes pleasure in other
people’s misery and submissiveness. Oral sex is used by many as a way of
measuring how much another person is willing to bow down to us, to submit, to
worship even - In most cases this is buried deep in the subconscious. If oral
sex is not a two way street then it’s a shameless form of slavery that should
not be done. If however, after sucking a man’s dick a woman is afforded the
pleasure of having a man go down on her, then by all means – a couple should
enjoy being each other’s slaves.
A certain woman (I forget her name) once
summed up the psychology of a Blow Job so well: ‘Having a man between your legs
tasting your privacy is an exercise in trust and about the closest you can get
to heaven’.
In my opinion, asking for a Blow Job
when you are fully aware that you can never return the favour is akin to rape.
It is mainly men who ask for Blow Jobs knowing very well that they will never
go down on the woman, knowing very well that the idea of going down on a woman disgusts
them even. I remember one of my friends coming to us in shock: He couldn’t
believe that his girlfriend expected him to kiss her after she had given him a Blow
Job.
I know a lot of men who find the very
thought of taking their women’s nipples into their mouths repulsive. If a
person asks someone to do something that they themselves find disgusting or
repulsive then the purpose is to subjugate, break and humiliate the other
person. The question I leave women is: Do you enjoy giving a Blow Job even if
you know he will never go down on you? To men I leave this question: What
purpose does a Blow Job serve if you will never return the favour? Is there any
other use of a Blow Job besides ‘owning’ a woman?
That’s my thesis.
While the idea expressed above makes sense to some degree, I disagree with it in that I don't think a blow job is merely an exercise of power over another. It can simply be the pursuit of pleasure and nothing more. I think the quotation from the unnamed woman sums it up well - it is an exercise in trust (although I am inclined to believe it is a lot more). Ergo a blow job cannot entirely be viewed from the lens of a relationship of power.
ReplyDeleteHmm, I get your point, however, I disagree that blow-jobs can be a form of slavery if not reciprocated. Take the adventurous & shameless people for example, they could give head in a moving vehicle & by no means would the girl spread her legs to allow her man to taste her - whilst he's behind the wheel. That would need to wait. Now, that example can't be a form of slavery, can it? Then some lovers prefer to give it & not receive....whilst some prefer a 2 way street of things. It's all individual I think.
ReplyDeleteGreat post BTW
I never get blowjobs from my girlfriend because she just isn't into it. It doesn't really matter though, because she is not very good at it anyway, but if she was, the only reason I'd go with a blowjob instead of intercourse would be because I'm lazy. I also don't particularly get off on seeing my lady in a state of discomfort. If done with some measure of skill, a blowjob is physically about as stimulating as intercourse, so the "owning" aspect really is of minor importance. For anyone who, like me, isn't getting (enough) oral stimulation from their partner, I have written a piece that may be of some help: http://urbanpipedreams.com/fellatio-hypothesis/
ReplyDeleteIf he isn't prepared to reciprocate then it's a form of slavery, but wait till you get home not while in charge of moving vehicle.
ReplyDelete