Sex et cetera

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It’s basically called Sexual Intercourse. It has been called Making Love, Fucking, Screwing, and Shagging and so on, depending upon the conditions and circumstances under which it is occurring. And the sad thing is that, especially in Africa, we have not learnt to be forthright. How many guys can actually walk up to a woman and say all they want is sex. Instead the guy will tell the woman that he loves her and even promise marriage, all for a quick fuck. Admittedly because of the way we are socialized, saying to a self respecting woman that it’s all about sex has got small chances of success. You won’t get laid and you might get a slap.

The most abused reference to sexual intercourse is Making Love. We all know that in most cases it is never making love because we never feel the love, before or after the sexual act. I once heard a young woman say to a friend; ‘He doesn’t comfort me after sex’. She said this in a very tearful voice and I wondered at the use of the word ‘comfort’: One gets comforted after a particularly bad experience. It is a bit worrying that there are some women who consider sex a bad or even traumatic experience. I guess by ‘he doesn’t comfort me’ she meant that soon after ejaculation he turns and faces the other way and snores away whilst she stares at the ceiling feeling used. She would prefer a situation where he holds her and tells her what a wonderful experience it was and how much he loves her. But after the act, the hunt is done and dusted for the man. After a hunter has speared and killed a kudu, that’s the end of the story: It’s time to find another kudu to spear.

Men and women regard sex from totally different perspectives. I could say men see sex as having a piece of fried chicken, but it’s not totally true. Someone doesn’t actually collect trophies of the number of chickens he has eaten; guys do collect trophies of the number of women they have slept with: It has been said that if you ask a guy who has slept with three women how many women he has slept with, he will probably say nine, whereas a woman who has slept with nine guys will say she has slept with three.

For a man sleeping with a woman is a sign of victory over that woman and a way of trying to boost self esteem: A man with low self esteem will strive to sleep with as many women as possible. There is a theory that a woman’s dignity, self worth, pride et cetera is inside her vagina and the way to conquer a woman, to defeat her, totally crush her soul is to get to her vagina. That explains some rapes and men’s obsession with sex – men don’t enjoy sex as much as women might think they do – it’s what sleeping with a woman represents that’s so attractive. Some clever women have used men’s obsession with sex to get ahead in life: if a man believes sleeping with a particular woman is the ultimate achievement, he will buy her an airplane. On a physical level, women enjoy sex ten times more than men, pity they never relax enough to enjoy it: A friend once said that a lot of women do not reach orgasm because they think too much – Does he love me? Does he think I am a slut because I agreed to sex too soon? Did I open my legs too easily? Will he marry me? Is he using me?

I feel sorry for women who try and use sex to get a man into a relationship. The opposite is more effective actually: Keep those thighs together for as long as possible if it’s a long term relationship you are after. If as a man I start off with the ultimate achievement, what’s left for me to explore? It becomes a sex based relationship and where is the fun in that?

Let’s hear what you think about sexual intercourse. I have said my bit.